Sometimes I find myself doing the 'what if' game in my head. I think....what if you hadn't missed your flight that day? What if I wasn't getting married out of state? What if I had known the situation you were in? What if you had been staying with us? The list goes on and on and on....and makes no difference. You are gone and there's no bringing you back. And I will never know if something would have made a difference. You were chosen by a monster. No one could have stopped that. You didn't know. Until it was too late. I wish I had been there for you, to help you get out of it, I believe you already were trying to get out of it. It hurts my heart to think of the emotional turmoil you were in for so many months, so much more so than I was aware of. I understand why you didn't tell me, but it doesn't change the fact that I wish I had known, so I could be there for you. I miss you so much Blondie. Kendy and I still get together for wine filled bitch session nights at my house :) We will always miss you being there with us....there will always be an empty glass, which should be filled.
I love you...
Love,
Chapin
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