Never Forget....

Dear Blondie-

Today on my way to work I was once again going through all of the dates leading up to your death. I do this often, I don't know why, but I can't help it. Sept. 19th 2010, was my bridal shower, you spent the night the night before and we watched MSU play Notre Dame, they made an AMAZING play to win and Andy yelled in excitement, it was like 11pm and you jumped, and that was when you realized Andy's dedication to MSU was for real, hahahahahaha. Oct. 16th 2010 was my bachelorette party. You had a horribly sprained ankle and you seemed off, but you said the ankle was from the night before being out with co-workers and I figured you were a little off because of RP. I wish I had paid more attention. Nov. 10th 2010 was the last time I ever saw you alive. You and Kendy came over to drink wine and hang out like always, I hugged you and told you I loved you when you left, we were all looking forward to leaving for Key West on Friday. Nov 11th 2010 was the last time I heard your voice, I called you that night because I was SO upset with my soon to be mother in law inviting some rando to our destination wedding. Remember that? Nov 12th 2010, this was the day we left for Key West, we all had different flights, and I didn't find out until we landed that you had missed your flight, I texted you and it was you who responded that day at 4:38pm "No worries...I will be there in plenty of time. NO STRESSING! Love ya!" Those would be the last words I would ever receive from you. Nov 13th 2010 I texted you that Andy and I were headed to the airport to pick you up, I got a text back that you were still home with a bad flu but trying to reschedule again. I was so upset! It wasn't until everything unfolded that I knew that wasn't you, you were already gone. Nov 22nd 2010 was my first day back at work and I was still reeling from you not being at my wedding, hadn't heard from you, I really thought you just had a really bad time with what was going on with RP and the girls, etc...Even though I was hurt and upset, I knew we would work it out, I knew you felt bad, I didn't know we'd never have the chance. Late that day was when I got the phone call from the police detective and everything spiraled from there. Into the worst nightmare. When they told me you were 'missing' and with a dangerous man and that you hadn't talked to your parents or shown up for work I knew. In my gut I knew something was SO horribly wrong. I still held onto a tiny shred of hope I had to or I would lose my mind. Phone calls flew all night that night. Nov 23rd 2010, 6:00am, News 8 was live at the scene where a body had been found, the body of a 32 yr old woman, and then they towed your car away in the background, and I knew, I knew then you were gone forever and I went to pieces, I couldn't even comprehend what I was seeing, the reality of what had happened. Nov 24th 2010, two Grand Rapids police detectives came to my home to ask me questions about you and about everything....it was like walking through a nightmare. Nov 28th 2010, was your open casket visitation, that's burned forever into my memory. Nov 29th 2010, you were laid to rest, it was a sunny but chilly day. And none of us would ever be the same.

I miss you....

Love Always,
Chapin