I should have started this a year ago....

Dear Blondie,

It's been a year since I lost you. I should have started this blog sooner, I talk to you almost everyday but it would have been nice to be able to go back and read my thoughts over this past year, things I've shared with you, etc...So I'm starting now, you know me, I'm sure you're not surprised, I love to procrastinate!

Monday was mine and Andy's one year wedding anniversary. As you know. It was hard to celebrate as you were on both our minds. But we know it will get easier over the years. It's what you would want, I know that in my heart. Saturday was the anniversary of your death. The girls and I had a great time visiting with you at your place of rest. I saw your dad that day as we were leaving, I hugged him, and we cried together for you, and I told him to give my love to your mom and sister and your brothers, and I pray for your family often, I cannot imagine how much they hurt missing you. It was nice to get the picture board out again. We really had some GREAT times over the years.

It's been a roller coaster year, getting married, losing you, getting pregnant and now having our precious baby boy. I wish you could have held him, I know you would love him as much as you love Trevor. Next time I come to visit I'm bringing you a York peppermint patty from Trevor. He loves you and misses you like we all do.

I wish you could have emailed me my first day back after maternity leave, I know what you would have said- "Hey girl- how you doing? Hanging in there?" And I would have cried and you would have sent me hugs and told me it will get easier. And probably cracked a silly joke to make me laugh. I miss laughing with you. Trevor is in 8th grade this year, and he's got braces now, he's being a typical teenager and I am sure you have enjoyed some of the shenanigans this past year he's gotten into. Sterling is 10 weeks and 3 days old today, he smiles and coos and is an amazing baby and has us all wrapped around his tiny finger, even big brother. We are blessed and I thank God every night for Andy and the boys.

I still remember one year later what we talked about the last time I saw you, and I often take comfort in the fact that I hugged you and told you I loved you before you left our house that night. I miss your laugh and I miss your smile and I miss that face you used to make when someone said something you couldn't believe. hahahahahaha...I miss my best friend.

Love,
Chapin